The White House Released Trump’s Border Wall Requirements, And They Are Comedy GOLD

Trump just will not stop hammering his border wall as the solution to every problem we’ve ever had. In addition to the U.S. government sending “notices of taking” to Texans living along the U.S.-Mexico border, the White House has now released its requirements for the wall. Fox News posted the list to Twitter, and it’s just ridiculous.

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At first it looks like this could be a joke, until you see the blue checkmark next to Fox News’ Twitter name. These three requirements are hilarious because they’re so vague they say absolutely nothing. It’s like Fox called Trump up out of the blue, said, “What are the requirements for the border wall,” and Trump replied with, “Oh. Um. Yes. The wall. Yes. Um. Requirements…”

Nothing about a better pricing estimate, what materials they think they need where, how they plan to keep it from interrupting migration patterns or diverting floodwaters, or anything that might actually tell us what the true requirements for this wall are. Just three vague things that demonstrate the Trump administration is more about touting the wall than they are about actually planning for it.

The last two are especially…odd. “Look good from U.S. side.” It must also look “imposing” from the Mexican side. Aside from the fact that this looks like a toddler wrote it, we do know that nobody wants an eyesore in their backyard.

But a 30-ft wall may well be an eyesore anyway no matter how “tasteful” they try and make it look. For instance, those living along the Rio Grande, where their view is of a river and they’re closely intertwined with sister cities in Mexico, are likely to suffer both from the eyesore that is a giant wall. Are they going to build it out of Plexiglas to avoid interrupting views? No. It has to look “imposing” from the far side.

In reality, some communities might benefit from rising property values, while others would suffer grievously when their local economies crash as people from their sister cities can’t come across to shop anymore. The way it looks won’t help the communities that are going to suffer regardless.

“Difficult to climb or cut through.” Well duh. Really? They’ve been saying the entire time that the whole point of having a wall is to keep people from being able to climb over it or cut through it like they can in places along the existing fence. But people will still climb it, people will still tunnel under it, and some might find ways around them via the oceans.

When you consider the fact that most undocumented immigrants entered the U.S. legally on a visitor visa, and then just never left, it makes “difficult to climb or cut through” seem even more absurd.
It would be nice to know what the administration believes this wall will truly require in terms of, well, everything, since we’re the ones who are going to pay for it. But it would be even nicer if they’d drop it altogether, since our tax dollars are going towards a massive waste of time, money and resources.


Featured image by Chip Somodevilla via Getty Images