Apparently Trump’s Administration Hasn’t Heard Of F*cking LoJack

We’re not sure how this could have possibly happened. I mean, how does one allow a laptop to be stolen which contains sensitive information? Even more disconcerting is, how the hell did a Secret Service agent possibly let someone stroll in, take their sh*t, then stroll away. The Secret Service-issued laptop in question contained floor plans for Trump Tower, information about the Hillary Clinton email investigation and other national security information. But all of that has gone bye bye.

On Thursday morning, the computer was taken in the Brooklyn area and officials are trying to determine if Agent Marie Argentieri was targeted or if the robbery was random, according to the Daily News. We’re going to go with ‘targeted’ for $100, Alex.

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“It’s a very big deal,” a police source said. “There’s data on there that’s highly sensitive. They’re scrambling like mad.”

Scrambling? You can just look up the GPS location of the device…there are services for that. Services which apparently the highest levels of government don’t use. If you lose a cellphone, you can track it better than the Secret Service can track a missing laptop.

Sources and neighbors say that the thief, a white man who was dressed in black, stepped out of a dark-colored sedan, possibly an Uber, then went into Argentieri’s Bath Beach driveway at about 3: a.m. (We told you it was targeted.)

The black-clad then grabbed the computer, a backpack, and other goods then walked away, according to sources. After that, to make his getaway, the thief did not get back into the car he arrived in, but instead, surveillance video shows him strolling away from the brick home wearing a backpack and holding a laptop.

“It showed somebody running to the car and running back out,” a neighbor, Mike Miguolo, 73, said. “They knew what they were doing, absolutely. They knew what they were hitting.”

This is what was stolen:

Other items stolen include “sensitive” documents, an access keycard, coins, a black zippered bag with the Secret Service insignia on it and lapel pins from various assignments — including ones involving President Trump, the Clinton campaign, the United Nations General Assembly and the Pope’s visit to New York, sources said.

In addition, an agency-issued radio was also taken.

“Secret Service issued laptops contain multiple layers of security including full disk encryption and are not permitted to contain classified information,” the Secret Service said in a statement.

A second White House fence jumper was taken into custody today. Maybe he wanted to return the laptop. IDK…

For the record, there is LoJack for laptops. We’re just trying to be helpful. Trump could inform his administration of certain precautionary steps to take in order to ensure that highly sensitive data is not stolen, however, the former reality show star uses an unsecured Android.


Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images