Donald Trump’s inauguration festivities aren’t looking too spiffy. Having been turned down by Andrea Bocelli, Celine Dion, Elton John, Garth Brooks, Justin Timberlake, Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, Aretha Franklin, KISS, Davis Foster, The Chainsmokers, and more, Trump’s main draws are a 16-year-old reality show contestant and the marching band from the “most racist high school in Louisiana” as well as the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and whichever Rockettes show up. In fact, that’s pretty much it for Trump’s celebration of his kinda-sorta victory.
But that hasn’t stopped Trump from trying to find someone — anyone — to perform at what is shaping up to be a shitshow of epic proportions. Apparently, he had his staff reach out to singer/songwriter Charlotte Church and her answer extended well beyond the simple “no, I don’t think so” Trump has become accustomed to receiving from pretty much anyone he has asked.
“Your staff have asked me to sing at your inauguration, a simple Internet search would show I think you’re a tyrant,” Church said. “Bye.” She followed this message up with a bunch of poop emojis:
@realDonaldTrump Your staff have asked me to sing at your inauguration, a simple Internet search would show I think you're a tyrant. Bye💩💩💩💩
— Charlotte Church (@charlottechurch) January 10, 2017
While Trump’s people will likely scream about her rudeness, they really should have known the answer. Last year, Church told the New Statesman that she would refuse an invitation to meet Trump because “he is such a tool. Mind you, I sang at George Bush’s inauguration.”
Not everyone has flat-out refused. Trump’s good friend and favorite entertainer Alec Baldwin has graciously agreed — if he can sing AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” and reality show contestant Rebecca Ferguson says she’ll do it if she can sing a 1939 protest song about lynching.
At this point, we’re just going to have to hope that “racist high school” marching band is talented if we’re going to get any decent entertainment. But, hey, at least we can have a laugh, right?
Did a quick Google to check Charlotte Church's recent comments. This result was enormously confusing pic.twitter.com/iB9DirnInn
— Neil Alcock (@IncredibleSuit) January 10, 2017
Featured image via Getty Images/Dan Kirtwood